What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
