Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I enjoy the company of your penis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
