There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?