We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
