i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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