i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
