is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize