I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
