That's intense
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
