I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize