I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
