i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
