Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
