Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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