remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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