Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
