so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
