my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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