i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize