so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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