I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize