why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize