Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
