My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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