Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
