considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
