she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
