how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
