On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
