This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
