I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
