I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
