You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize