I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
