Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
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Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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The uberlube is also flammable
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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