well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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