three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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