At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
