we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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