# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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