Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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