There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize