This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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