So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
