those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
