think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My ass is underappreciated
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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