Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
