the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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