all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
