Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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