that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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