Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
