Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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