when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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