we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
