this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize