Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
