My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she peed on how many people?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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