i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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