Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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