i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He did a backflip because drugs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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