This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My vagina just recognized that song.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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